My Leaf

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*Disclaimer: this post is rather verbose. Sorry...but I start writing and this is what happens. And since this ISN'T work, I'm not going to stress about editing. So I'll let you skim and choose where your eyes wish to slow down.

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As of this week I've taken on a new job title, assume new responsibilities and am leaving behind some old burdens. It’s been nearly a year and a half since I started as Program Assistant (or “Program Assistant Extraordinaire” as I like to think), so I thought it would be fitting to take a moment to pause and reflect on just what being here, doing this, for this period of time has actually meant. Did I accomplish anything, grow, learn, become deeper, richer, happier? I invite you to “celebrate with me the other side of this new leaf I’m turning”…and those of you who know Dale Nickel’s music can now hum that song in your head and know the feeling I’m summoning here…

I’ve found that the day-to-day grind and chaos and all-consuming work vacuum that I dwell in here not only distorts my sense of time, but also affords few moments to stop and appreciate accomplishments, reflect on what transpires, debrief from the rough spots or ponder ahead into the future. My (excellent) new boss has demanded that I take a day off before officially launching into my new position, so I embraced the chance for a little reflection.

It’s occurred to me recently that I have been able to conquer some major mountains (or the Sudanese hilly-lump equivalent of a mountain) over the past months – and I’d like to celebrate that.

Sitting atop one of Juba's few hilly-lump mountains on an Easter sunrise hike.

Very satisfying views when one conquers a mountain.
This one is from Juba's Easter morning.

Here are a few victories that have come to mind:

Bush Data Electronified

I’m very proud of the fact that a whole bunch of completely computer illiterate people are now submitting monthly reports, flown in on a flash disk, saving us hours of painstaking data entry. These staff now possess some very useful and transferable computer skills, and our data is much cleaner and easer to process. This was a little thing to have done, with a massive effect. I’m really happy I took the time to do the rounds to each of our field sites for the training, and am grateful for the chance this gave me to spend time in each of our sites and get to know the staff there. It was a very gratifying project, and the staff just beam when they can proudly produce something on a computer.

Capacity Built

The idea in this kind of work, is always to move away from having a university-educated, salary eating, culturally different, foreigner (like me) doing the work, to investing time and training and faith in local individuals so they can be brought up to the level where they can do it instead. This is very often much easier said than done for many reasons, and it’s always so much simpler and faster to just do it myself. It takes considerable self discipline NOT to do it yourself, and to take the extra effort to patiently teach someone else until they are up to speed. This is something I’m still in the process of learning to do, but I do feel I’ve made some positive steps, and I’m so happy to see some of our Sudanese staff who’ve really grown and are shining in their new roles and evident accomplishments. It’s so gratifying to spend time teaching someone how to format their spreadsheet, or keep a stock card book for the warehouse, or plan the weights of cargo for a flight, or create formulas to process data, or whatever it might be…and later find them doing it themselves, pleased with themselves for remembering how, and grateful to you for giving them the skills. This is good stuff.

Systems – that work and have stuck!

A few things that I’ve started have stuck. They’re working, they’re being used, they’re part of the institutional fabric. My waybill system, my data entry system, my vaccine request system, my drug order system… It’s good to know I can come up with a good idea now and then.

Security – we have a plan!

Though it’s been a long arduous trial to get it into place, I’ve been the driving force behind putting together a Security Plan for both Juba and all of our field sites – a whopping document outlining everything pertaining to our security, the implementation of which has involved trainings for staff, clarifying roles of key Security people, putting together emergency supply kits and first aid kits, posting reminders…and lots of bits and pieces that were certainly NOT in my job description. For a “little side job” this has been quite the headache, but I’m happy to say it’s now, finally in place, and I’ve happily handed on the torch.

Technology: a friendly peace negotiated

Ah, it’s been a fun little year and a half for me and our many machines. From sitting with 3-4 laptops on my desk on many a day, to making online computer purchases and lugging an embarrassing number of laptops back to Juba with me on every R&R, to dealing with many “blue screens of death”, to restraining myself from pitching our printers out the window, to surviving virus crises, to being courted by various IT companies for their services, to overhauling so many machines I’ve lost count…it’s been another rather demanding “extracurricular activity” tagged on to my job. Somewhat surprising however, is that I’ve found I quite like it – and – most of the time – I’ve conquered. We’ve made it through without seeking external services for the most part, and I moved from being very unofficially, to quite officially our in-house “IT guru”. I like it. And me and our machines have reached a happy working relationship. While they almost got the best of me during my personal virus crisis, this was nothing a little time in the rainforest in Uganda couldn’t mend, and I’m back on top.

Equipped, Supplied, Answered

I’ve heard it said by our field staff many a time that they’re so happy because whenever they make a request for supplies from Juba and “Kilo Juliet” (that’s me by my radio name) receives it, they know that they will get what they asked for. In the past year and a half, I’ve spent a shocking sum of money purchasing drugs for our clinics, have moved a massive amount of clinic equipment, drugs and medical supplies from various suppliers and donors to the field, in what often involves Mary Poppin-like feats of fitting an impossible amount of cargo into the tiny caravan planes we fly in. It feels really good to know that this stuff got where it was needed and was appreciated. At the moment “my warehouse” in Juba is nearly empty, which means its contents have moved out where they are needed and in use. Sigh…satisfying.

Ordering the Chaos

This one may not seem a great accomplishment to an outsider, but knowing the mess that our home and office has been since coming to Juba, one can appreciate the transformation. Over the past weeks, I’ve indulged my “inner obsessive compulsiveness” and gone on a series of cleaning binges – and invited anyone craving some order and tidiness to join me. I started with a yard/compound clean-up at the office, involving pulling plastic bags dripping with unidentifiable black goo out of the gutter, and asking questions like – "has anyone used it in the past 6 months? – then, let’s chuck it!"

Staff chipping in for a street clean-up for our contribution to "World Sanitation Day"

Compound Clean-Out

This movement progressed to each of our 3 main warehouses which each underwent a massive cleaning, inventory & reorganization, to the interior of the office, which was transformed into a more esthetically pleasing and ergonomic arrangement of desks, shelves and bulletin boards, with some ruthless purging of junk corners and impressive growth of the scrap paper pile.

A slightly closer look. Can you see the extent of the grime
and the change in my skin colour? I have a bit of a reputation
for getting extremely dirty on my Saturday cleaning
projects. Notice how my feet blend in with the black shadows?

Next came my kitchen cupboards and the fridge (made very necessary by 4 days of no electricity). In a place where if you don’t eat your food with haste, insects, microorganisms and moulds will do it for you, there were lots of pleasant surprises of rice gone rancid and raisins gone hairy. And for the pretty icing on my tidiness cake, I picked up all the plastic bags and bottles swirling daily around my house and exchanged them for a flower bed and a few more tree seedlings to green up the place.

Aah…my head feels cleaner just thinking about everything all neat in its place. (I know…it’s borderline pathological, and I’m certain if I was to fall prey to mental illness, this would be the one, but I’ve been keeping it at bay for over a year – I had to give in just a bit. ;)) So there’s my little confession for this post (I feel obligated to throw one in now and then given the title of this depository). Yes, I confess, I’m an obsessive compulsive tidier. And I love to do it.

My mark left

Our staff, and community members in all our field sites are now sporting flash new t-shirts promoting immunization that I designed. I never thought I’d be setting fashion trends across Southern Sudan. One more addition for the resume...

Yes - it's not exactly a breakthrough in graphical design,
or marketing slogans...I had some way cooler designs,
but simplicity is KEY here, so most of those were shot down
by my "cultural advisors"... They are atleast eye-catching,
and they are popular.

And not only that, but I’m setting the trend in baby naming. In the span of one year, there are 3 new little Kendrahs in the world. So, surely, yes, the world is becoming a better place. ;)

Madness Averted

Major victory here. I have yet to go mad in this place. On days when I face no water, no electricity, computer crashes, excruciatingly painful staff meetings, multiple persistent flies hanging around my desk, shouting over a poor radio signal in the boiling hot radio shed to receive data by radio, 40C temperatures indoors plus humidity, security crises in our field locations, rats jumping out of the file cabinet when I open the drawer, and…you name it…all at the same time, it’s a wonder we don’t all lose it. But we haven’t. We’re still going. We’re even still civil (most of the time), and happy (most of the time), and enjoy our work (most of the time). This is a great feat, most worthy of acknowledgement.

Closing Thoughts

So, victories? Yes - several. I believe I have done some good, in the past year plus, in recent weeks, and – I hope - a little in each day, as hard as it might be to remember to recognize it.

And as for me? Am I better or worse for it all? Well, the verdict may still be out. It’s a little hard to tell while in the thick of it. As mentioned above, I have not gone mad, nor have I gotten deathly ill, nor faded into a skeletal shadow of my former self. All very good things considering the circumstances at times. I have, however, felt joy, satisfaction, and generally very positive feelings about my work. I love the challenge. I thrive in the midst of all the change. I love the adventure of living here – hardship and all. I’ve met some amazing people. I’ve felt very loved and part of a “family”. I’ve been stretched and pushed, and felt useful and needed. I’ve learned what wears me down (things like sleep deprivation, people forgetting to put the HF radio
on mute, a persistent fly, rats in drawers...I needn't go on….), and what brings me up (things like unexpected rainfall, driving in the truck through the hot night air with the window rolled down with the night wind in my hair under a beautiful African starry sky, cooking a good meal out of nothing with excellent companions, creating a really tight spreadsheet (yes, also borderline pathological, I know), bringing order into chaos, taking time to not necessarily smell the roses which don’t live here, but, shall we say…notice the bugs, study leaf veins, stare at the sky, smell the Frangipani flowers…).

I’ve definitely grown: maybe not fatter, taller or richer, but wiser, deeper, stronger.

And now…on to the other side of the leaf…which I shall share more about once I’ve seen it.

Thanks for sharing in my little celebration of the past year and a half.